Loss Loss Loss

Being new to blogging, I haven’t figured out how to take it all in in small doses. I’ve spent every free minute the last couple of days reading. And reading. And reading.

What I’ve found out there is a world of sorrow, a world of people sick with loss, frustration, anger. I’ve read more pain in the last three days then I’ve read in the past 40 years.

So many people seeking the connections they lost as infants, toddlers, children. So many mothers yearning to find children the were encouraged to relinquish years ago.

And so much anger directed toward adoptive parents, who are no more than the symbols of a system of abuse, enablers of an inhuman response to human need. Adopters. Abductors.

These issues aren't new to me, but I'm numb from the sheer volume of pain.

Comments

suz said…
Interesting blog. I like what I read so far. I love that you see beyond the good stuff in adoption and more importantly that you validate your childrens possible need for more info.

Thanks for the link. I will be back.
I'm glad to hear that you see past the glam and glitter and to the heart of adoption. Hopefully some day you will be the norm and not the exception.

Its overwhelming at first reading all the blogs but then you find your favorites and its not so overwhelming, I remember the first weekend I started reading them, I was at the computer for hours after my kids went to bed.

I will be back.
MSP
I linked you to my blog because I really get that you get it, I kept having all this turmois thought because I am one of the one's who has trouble with the word birthmother. I have a post you may have read titled recovering birthmother that explains why I feel the way I do about the title.


You will get a ton of opinions about that Im sure, if you want I could get you the history on the term if you dont already know it so that you can make a decision requarding the use of it,based on historical info.

I had to share this with you as I started to post your link a few times and hesitated because of that, so at the very least I thought I would let you know how I feel.MSP
Paragraphein said…
Hang in there.

We're all at different stages of grieving and processing. You'll see that as you read, and I think that might make it a little less overwhelming (I hope?).
A lot of us don't have anger towards all adoptive parents... and many of us are really very pro-reform, rather than entirely anti-adoption (even if we label ourselves anti).

So glad you are here. Your blog is beautifully written, and you have ALREADY written some of the most validating things for first moms to read that I've ever seen from an adoptive mom. Thank you.

Nicole
Kohana said…
I read and then take breaks to process and then read some more. I feel like it is important for me to know how many adoptees feel, and how many (first) mothers feel. It overwhelms me at times and I take time to grieve losses that aren't even mine. I don't really know how to balance it at this point - connecting with all of this pain and finding joy in raising my son. But I can't ignore the losses.

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