Adoption Language Quagmire

Thank you to the mom who emailed me late last night and clued me into the various issues at play in the recent adoption language debates. That information, plus reading and re-reading the original post and comments, and also an excellent discussion of the issue on Soul of Adoption, has clarified this complicated situation for me.

Within each adoption experience - first mother or father, adopted person, adoptive parent - are ranges of experiences and varied points of view. These bring each individual to a different place on adoption issues, personally and politically. And for those of us coming from another experience, the undercurrents may be invisible.

I realize that the specific issue at hand is beyond me - it's not mind to comment on or to judge. And I come back to my starting point about adoption language - it's all about respect for the individual.

In light of the fact that there are so many opinions within each experience, this may be easier said than done. But I'll keep trying.

Comments

suz said…
ugh. yeah. i know of the blog topic of which you speak. rather intimately in fact. write me privately if you want some background. (p.s. i am attending that conference that is the topic of such debate and I know several of the individuals that are being attacked personally).
As an adoptee, I just don't feel comfortable with firstmom. Maybe it is a loyalty issue, I don't know. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so it's a quandary.
Mia said…
It's tiring. I love love love the moms I know but the internal struggle I have with the issue of title is exhausting. I hope to some day find a comfortable term that suits all (including myself) but have yet to do so. It can really pull adoptees in two. It's that loyalty thing I guess.

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