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Open Mike: The Effect of Adoption on Family Members

There's been a lot of discussion recently on the blogs I read about how adoption impacts extended family and friends. Some might think adoption would only impact the ones living it directly - first mothers and fathers, adoptees, and adoptive parents. But what about siblings? Grandparents, aunts, and uncles?

And what about impacts that may have come to us from those who went before us, or may continue on to affect others in the future? This is no stand-alone experience, to be sure. The affects are far-reaching - in time and in relationships.

I'm interested in your thoughts on this, so today's Open Mike question is:

How does adoption affect extended family members and friends?

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Comments

joy said…
Good question, I'll go, I think chiefly it affects and confuses my son. Of course for obvious reasons, too many grandmothers!!! and one that mother has a complicated relationship, and asks him not to speak about in front of other grandmother... I mean I wouldn't ask him that now, but of course have already done that damage, he has the message.
Secondarily, my x's would certainly say it affected them, good friends tell me there is a frightening part of me that they don't have access too, that I withdraw for long periods of time, acquaintances find me guarded.
September 30, 2006 at 1:42 PM
suz said…
I have lots of opinions on this topic but right now I am deeply involved in feeling those very affects. I dont have the emotional fortitude to respond clearly. I will come back someday and do so.
October 1, 2006 at 10:32 AM
weigook saram said…
For our family, open adoption has allowed us to know the child my sister relinquished, to watch her grow and thrive. It's reassuring to know she's okay. (I can't speak for her, of course, but she seems as happy and well-adjusted as any other eleven-year-old.) It's been fun to talk to her about various traits that she shares with members of the extended family, like her love of reading and music.

We were lucky because the couple who adopted her were family friends beforehand. In some ways it's like having another set of inlaws. I love her parents dearly and we are so grateful to them for their generosity in allowing us to be a part of her life. It is awkward sometimes, but in general, it's been very positive for us.
October 2, 2006 at 11:33 PM
Anonymous said…
FOr many families in the society, it seems quite difficult to maintain their own happiness no matter the adopted children join as the family memeber or not. But as far as I am concerned, Seeing my sister being happy and pleasurous with her unbiological parents and my younger brother being printed a hurted mind is like a crack from an old block.
So from the point of view, I feel that DESTINY OF U IS FROM GOD!!! KK ok~ I guess I turned the head subject away >.<
October 22, 2008 at 6:32 AM
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