Wishes for You

Because I know the coming days will leave little time to finish any of the posts I have in draft or swirling in my head, I want to take a minute and say this to each and every person that has stopped by this blog, added comments, offered support, asked a question, or raised a concern.

Thank you. You will never know how much I've gained from knowing you here online or (for those I've had the honor and pleasure to meet face-to-face) in real life. Writing, and knowing you are reading, have become more important to me than I'd ever have imagined.
To the adoptees who grapple every day with the pain of adoption, with the loss of their identities and first families, and with society's failure to see that these are an attack on their human rights, I give my wish that the new year brings you the information and contact with the people you seek, and change to the policies that keep your identities and families from you.

To the mothers and fathers who spend this time of year in sadness because they cannot find the children they gave to the world years ago, or are separated from children they have found, or who struggle in reunion, I offer my acknowledgment that your pain is real, and is caused by yet another failure of society to understand the importance of the bond that you and your children share.

To the adoptive parents whose lives have been blessed by the children that have come to you from near and far, I send my hope that your love for your children will grow into the kind of nurturing support that will help them seek their identities and tell their truths without fear of violating their relationships with you.

And to all who, in spite of the challenges and inequities, have found family and joy through adoption, I challenge you to look beyond your happiness and see the pain in the lives of others who have been less gently touched by adoption, so we can all work toward the change that is so desperately needed.
I'm looking forward to writing and reading more and more next year. Although I've told a lot of my own story, I see myself talking more next year about what to do with my thoughts and my desire to change adoption. There's so much work to be done, so many things you and I can be doing to make a difference. I'd like to talk more about that in the coming months, and also hear what you are doing in your families and communities to make these same changes. It's exciting to think about!

Have a wonderful holiday everyone, whatever holiday you may be celebrating, and a wonderful year end if you're celebrating no holiday at all! A Happy Healthy New Year to all!

Comments

Schrandt-O-Rama said…
Beautifully written, as always.

I look forward to reading what ideas you have to promote change.

Happy Holidays!
-Jen
kim.kim said…
Message to Third Dad:

Take your wife out on a date and treat her to lots of presents this Christmas, she's someone who thoroughly deserves to be spoiled.
Paula O. said…
Margie, your grace, wisdom, humility and compassion has touched more than you'll ever know. I count your voice amongst my biggest of blessings this holiday season. Peace and blessings to you and yours.
Beloved said…
Happy holidays to you, too. I'm learning a lot through reading your blog. I met a Korean adoptee last year when I was working in his school. He was dealing with identity issues and through reading your blog and some others, I'm starting to realize the magnitude of his struggles and the difficulties (as an only child living with white parents in a nearly completely white community) he will have ahead of him. I'd like to share your blog and other resources with his parents but am not sure how to do so gently. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

All the best to you and your family in the new year!
In Reunion said…
Ditto my friend Margie. Ditto.

Here you go. Have a chuckle and think of me.

holiday card

- Suz
Round is Funny said…
Peace and happy new year to you, Margie!
Margie said…
Thanks, all. Suz, love the card, and I indeed chuckled!!

You all have a wonderful holiday. I intend to relax, relax, relax!!!
A merry, merry ... a happy, happy ... and many thanks for putting your thoughts to words for all of us to share.
Anonymous said…
"And to all who, in spite of the challenges and inequities, have found family and joy through adoption, I challenge you to look beyond your happiness and see the pain in the lives of others who have been less gently touched by adoption, so we can all work toward the change that is so desperately needed."

I thank you for bringing my attention to this movement. I certainly would love to provide my daughter's with information about themselves and their start in life. I'd ultimately want them to have been born in a place with reproductive freedoms that would have allowed them to maintain their family, culture, language and birthplace.

When I chose to adopt my daughter, I made a conscious decision to turn my back on saving the world and decided to make the difference for a kid who needed someone to step up and commit to be her family.

I resent folks claiming to know or understand the first thing about our family, me, my children or their birth families. I challenge them to walk a day in our shoes, when folks in the grocery store chase me hammering me with questions from inaccurate media accounts and gossip. As an adoptive mother I have made HUGE sacrifices to parent my children and I deserve respect. I'm disturbed to say the least when I hear the criticisms of adoptive families and I'm waiting to see how you place yourself amidst this.
zoe said…
Thanks, Margie for the good wishes, and especially for your voice. Happy holidays - hoping you enjoy every good thing with your family this season!
Celera said…
Thank you for this lovely post. How wonderful and sadly rare to find someone who understands and empathizes with all three parts of the adoption triad. The answers are in truth and compassion for all of us. Jealousy, fear and lies never help. God bless. I'll keep an eye out for more :).

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