Post-Holiday Blahs

I've got 'em bad.

The holidays are a time I look forward to all year. For me, they stretch from Thanksgiving to the week after new year, and are a time to get away from the day-to-day rat race. I allow myself to take it easy, and let my usual high energy and level of activity wane a bit as I relax and get away from the grind.

The problem is that all good things come to an end, and when my holidays end, the reality of day-to-day life can be a bit of a shock. At this time of the year I see clearly how much I overextend, how I let my desire to do do do bring me to bite off more than I can chew, or at least chew with my mouth closed.

While I've been loafing around, I've noticed that adoption hasn't really entered my mind much these past few weeks, and only fleetingly when it has. There are many milestones and holidays on which my children's families are a strong presence, but it's odd to me that Christmas and New Year aren't among them. There's almost a selfish quality to the way I push adoption out of my thoughts during the holiday season.

It's significant that I can be entirely joyful at this time of year. Not so the mothers and fathers and adoptees who spend the holidays separated from one another - they don't enjoy the luxury of letting adoption take a back seat. This time of year may be a time of sadness, loneliness and longing for first parents and adoptees, rather than of happiness and contentment.

Adoption can weave itself through every aspect of the lives it touches. Some experience only its joys, finding it hard to imagine there could be a darker side. Others know its pain, but are able to untangle themselves from it from time to time to catch their breath. But for many, there's no respite, no break or rest. Recognizing this should bring us all to show greater compassion and respect to those we know are experiencing the pain.

Comments

HeatherRainbow said…
The holidays are bad for me, too. I just keep on moving.... I hope that you take good care of yourself during this hard time.
Beloved said…
The holidays in general used to be very difficult for me when I lived in Korea and away from my immediate family. Now that I'm back "home" I don't build them up too much or get too wrapped up in them, so fortunately for me, there isn't too much let down.
Bek said…
I had a very difficult holiday seasion, just the perfect storm of crappyness. Illness, not enough space, dh had to work the whole time, my son became demonic, etc, etc.

We also re-established contact w/ my son's family and that has been harder for me than I anticipated. For us, the adoption stuff is the easy stuff, it is the rest that gets hard. There are lots of hurt feelings and not much trust on either side. I wonder if we are doing the right thing by trying again...... I don't want to be one of those people who can take a break from it... time to take a deep breath and try again.
Bek said…
I meant to say " I dont' want to be one of these people who CAN"T take a break from it". Meaning, do we open the door to the hurt again and take our bow and call it a day....
Susan said…
Aw Margie, I am sorry you are feeling blah. I certainly know what you mean about overextending, but I think I am so overextended I can't even take to dwell on it.

And don't feel badly about not thinking about adoption 24/7, even through the holidays. You are so thoughtful and conscientious SO often, you need a break to just enjoy your family. I think you more than make up for it at other times of the year. Really.

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