A little clarification

I need to clarify a bit.

First, some of you have written to ask what happened. Well, nothing really happened. I simply saw something yesterday that, for whatever reason, I couldn’t get past. It was a pun, focused on the Catholic Church, and most days it probably wouldn’t have raised my eyebrows. But somehow at this time of year, a time that is particularly holy in my faith, it hit the wrong chord.

Please understand that I believe every individual has a right to express themselves as they wish. When a particular institution deserves criticism, as my Church definitely does, people have a right to express it. And because I have chosen to remain Catholic at a time in which Catholicism is facing disgrace, I’ve become accustomed to sucking it in.

For me, though, there’s a distinction between criticizing the institution and the individuals who have committed the crimes, and mocking the faith. That’s the line that was crossed for me this week – no big deal, just a personal reaction, maybe even an overreaction. It's just making me pull away a bit. I need to figure out if I as a Catholic am a) really welcome in the adoption reform movement and b) if I can reconcile participating in a community that feels my faith is worth a few laughs.

I definitely want to continue writing, but just need to step away from writing about adoption reform for a bit. You’ll notice I updated my post yesterday to remove the sentence that said I was considering closing the blog. Yes, that’s in my mind, but I’m not looking for anyone to encourage me to stay here. I just need a break from the adoption reform topic for a bit.

And I need to think about what has been good about adoption again, too. My experience and that of my children has been good. Yes, my children face the same losses and pains, but I can look them square in the eye and tell them their first families are our family, and that I seriously, honestly and deeply pray every day that they will be reunited. Whatever the future brings, I will support them. I can also look them in the eye and tell them that I love them for who they are – Korean Americans, not little mini-mes I’ve molded in my own image. There’s really no way I can ever express my gratitude for the gift of them.

The only things I can do are continue to work for reform, which I will be doing even if Third Mom shuts down. There’s a life outside blogland, friends, and there’s a lot going on out there, so please have no fear that I would ever, ever walk away from this fight.

And the other thing I can do is continue to write, which I am going to do, but with a different voice for awhile. I’ve started a new blog, Komapseumnida – ha, you have to go figure it out. This new blog is all about my family – not deeply personal stuff, just memories. Like I say in my first post there, every memory is a gift, for which I say komapseumnida.


Suz Bednarz said…
I suspect what triggered you was my xposting of another bloggers parody. My apologies for causing upset to your faith.

Happy Holidays to your family.
Margie said…
Actually, no, Suz, what I saw was somewhere else. I don't know what you've posted, and no matter what it is it's OK. As I said, the issue is mine - my reaction to what I've seen, my need to step away and consider the implications, as well as what my response should be to things like that.

HA - it's all about me!!!

Happy holidays to you and the boys, too!! Can't believe it's that time already!!
Suz Bednarz said…
Ah, and here I thought it was all about me and my blog!!

: )
Margie said…
Nope, it's ME ME ME ME ME!!
Magicpointeshoe said…
I know that being a random internet person, my opinion isn't that big of a deal. That being said, a person's faith usually is core of who they are as a person.

My take on Catholics and adoption reform is this. When I read "The Girls Who Went Away" I have an enormous respect to what the catholic sisters were doing with regards to maternity homes and reaching out. Their intent was not to take babies away, but instead be the reform we are trying to get back to. If the Catholics have since been misled with the adoption changes since the social workers took over the homes and got carried away with the woohoo adoption mentality, then it's critical that more Catholic believers who want that reformed ideals back to stay with the church.
Margie enjoy the holidays and enjoy having your son home. It does feel so great to go pick up their favorite food from the grocery store again, doesn't it?

I'll be stalking your other blog. I hope you know how much I appreciate this one.
Michelle said…
Margie, it's so easy to personalize things in adoption. As I was reading your first post, I thought, oh no, she is becoming one of us!! Break, break....adoption overload! You are coming at adoption from a different angle than most of us, so it's got to get you sometimes! Perhaps it was the blog (or whatever it was) that triggered you, but it could have been anything, and may have been more about the timing than the topic? I hope you still want me to air your segment...and I do enjoy you being around....but do take a breather once in a while!
abebech said…
I thought for a moment it was my kids' response to communion -- now THAT's personalization (I hope).
Wishing your beautiful family a very Merry Christmas.
Wendy @ adoptionandfire.typepad.com said…
Sigh of relief. I have really learned a lot from you and while that shouldn't be a reason for you to stay around, know that I am relieved that you will continue to pursue your passion in adoption reform.

Have a Merry Christmas and a blessed 2008!
Maryreunited said…
Sweetie we all need a break sometimes. Personally having become Wiccan and learning to be a better Christian and Catholic in the procees I can see why some of this upsets you. It is hard to reconcile what one does (read those bad guys in the church here) with what they profess to believe. I do not want you to stop writing! You have opened my eyes to "the other side" and that is something I quite grateful for! I xposted the same parody and I too thought perhaps it was me who set this off. (I did find that post funny though sorry, but I did!) Please let me know if there is anything you need to talk about or even if you just need a friendly shoulder! Mine are large and accustomed to being wet. Merry Christmas dear, enjoy the kiddos being home and seriously don't let the idiots get you down!
Margie said…
Lordy, you guys are all great, thanks! I'm still chewing on all of this, and a post with even MORE clarification is forming. I have to get this out onto paper, so bear with me - and thanks to all of you who do!!

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