It is time

… to step away. I’m taking a break, starting now through the new year.

I sometimes can’t believe I’ve been blogging for almost two years. In many ways it’s been a wonderful experience. I’ve made friends, I’ve met others who share my point of view about adoption, and I’ve learned more than I would ever have learned had I relied on the magazines and websites I’d been reading before I found the blogosphere.

But lately I’ve seen some things that I just don’t have the strength to fight. One in particular, at this particular time of year, has just cut a little too closely. And I have to pull away.

As many of you know, I am Catholic. I have never hidden my faith, nor would I, although I know that to many of you who are working for adoption reform, we are the enemy. It has recently become more personal - not as in a personal attack, but in a personal reaction to the things I read and see.

I don't believe I wear blinders when it comes to the actions of my Church. I neither condone nor defend the actions of the heartless nuns and social workers who have taken and may today still take children from young women in the name of “morality.” I am disgusted by the actions of the clergy who have abused children and found protection from the Church hierarchy. They are, however, a part of my Church, not the entire community. Ferreting them out and changing the Church from within is as valid a way to fight them as is leaving.

I respect every person whose conscience has told them they cannot remain Catholic, and truth be told I’ve considered it myself. But I've made the decision to stay and reclaim my Church from those who harm it. The only way I know to do that is by example - by acting and speaking the way I want my Church's leaders to act and speak. When the subject is adoption, my message is clear: That adoption must be practiced lawfully and justly, not as an act of charity, and that false morality is no reason to separate a mother from her child.

I apologize to all who see this break as "cutting and running." Maybe it is, I don't know. I am absolutely not asking anyone to change their point of view or hold back their opinions about the Catholic Church. I'm simply struggling with seeing symbols of my faith held up to ridicule in a way I could never do to another's. I'm struggling with how hated we Catholics seem to be in some circles of the adoption community. I need to pull away a bit and think about whether I'm in the right place, as it doesn't feel right at the moment.

This all said, it’s time to focus elsewhere for awhile. Have a wonderful holiday, everyone, and happy new year!

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